Joke

Since I'm bored and offshore, I've been reading the jokes on orsm.net,
(not work safe) my favorite one is:

This JellyBean walks into a bar and gets talking to a
Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do
you fancy going to that new club in town?" JellyBean
says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting
my head kicked in." So Smartie says "Don't worry about
it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." So JellyBean
says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me." and off
they went. After a few more beers in the club, three
Vapour Drops walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie
hides under a table, the Vapour Drops take one look at
JellyBean and start kicking him, punching him and generally
having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walked out.
Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table
and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to Smartie and says
"I thought you were going to look after me?" "I was!" says
Smartie, "But those Vapour Drops are fucking menthol !!!"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The other side of Porkbusters, the people who need pork

Here in Alaska the governor is discussing a PR campaign would attempt to tell the rest of the US that Alaska is not just a consumer of Federal money, and it would "tell Alaska's story": (from a column by Beth Bragg) The governor wants to "tell Alaska's story" to the Lower 48 so folks down there have a better idea of what it's like up here. The goal is to end the ridicule we've been so good at inspiring lately, what with our bridges to you-know-where and our desire to drill for oil in a wildlife refuge. The thinking goes like this: If we can educate the critics with pictures of a desolate ANWR and defuse the comedians with pictures of a serene and congenial Ted Stevens, then we can move on to our ultimate goal, which is building bridges to you-know-where and drilling for oil in a wildlife refuge. Or as the Governor actually said: "Alaska does not just take. We give, and we have the capacity to give much, much more -- if permitted to do so,&
Read more

Haditha slant in the press

Image
There's not much actual information out in the press about what really happened in Haditha, but most of what has come out is highly slanted against the marines. The only data point I've seen is an interview with the lance corporal who survived the initial IED explosion. Here's a summary of the interview here: (RHCP) (video here ) Again, here's a summary of the salient facts that Crossan related: 1) The Marines knew there was going to be an attack on the command outpost, which would explain the high degree of suspicion about the Iraqi's in a taxi that first refused to stop, then ran away from them. 2) There was an IED attack on his humvee, and a squad was sent in 3) Insurgents began firing on the Marines almost immediately. 4) He's not claiming to have witnessed anything. The first slant that has already been pointed out in several places (hotair), is in the times online from london, where they grabbed one quote from Corporal Crossan , “were blinded by ha
Read more

Offshore blogging again

Image
I had to zip offshore yesterday at the last minute, changing my tranquil sunday at home to a mad dash to the dock, then a four hour crew boat ride to the rig. Not too bad of a ride, I only reached the nasty salivating feeling before we arrived at the rig, it sucks when the high point of the evening is not puking. I stayed out on the back deck most of the time since I won't get sick if I can see the horizon and not smell that boat smell of lysol/oldpuke/diesel fuel that inhabits the inside of the boat. It was a pretty clear night, and the only lights were the lights of rigs and production platform as we cruised past, so I had a clear view of the big dipper and the north star and I willed those two pointer stars to move faster around and speed up time. Apparently there is a meteor shower for this part of the month, because I saw one fall, but it didn't look real, more like a reflection off of metal into my eyes. The next meteorite was more emphatic, maybe even a fireball, b
Read more