Friday, December 23, 2005

Land of the blue tarps

I'm over in New Orleans today, working in a client's office while
a well is drilled offshore somewhere. I didn't go into town yet,
I stayed out here in the burb's and from this office it looks like
every third house has a blue tarp covering the roof. This area
just had normal streetflooding that results when the pumps
aren't turned on due to the workmen being evacuated, not due
to a levee breach. But it does look like a mild war swept through
the area.

All of metairie seems to be bustling, help wanted signs are
everywhere and every other vehicle seems to be full of mexican
roofers. On the other hand, tonight I can look out through the
darkness outside this office, and through one window I can see
the thin ribbon of the causeway bridge stretching out to infinity,
through the other window I can see that the center of New Orleans
is ominously dark.

I can remember christmas' from my childhood, when the soaring
towers of downtown left their lights on in the shape of christmas
trees, or a cross. Now, all I can see of downtown from here are navigation
lights at the tops of the buildings.

Talk radio here in Louisiana had some interesting information,
an interview with the loser in the last governer's election Bobby Jindal,
who I last blogged about here. Then they interviewed someone from
the recall Kathleen Blanco committee, and their website is here.

It would be worth it for me to move back to louisiana just so I could
sign the petition.

I don't LUV continental

I flew back home from alaska tuesday on one of the
suckiest flights where I got upgraded to first class for
one leg. I got pulled from a middle seat in a packed
coach section where I was speaking with a nice old lady,
brought up to first class for what I thought was the
whole flight. Drank my 3 bloody mary's (they're free,
you gotta drink 'em) and passed out asleep.

I got woken up in seatle by someone checking my ticket,
she tried to throw me out of 1st because my ticket had
my old seat # written on it that they had used to find me
in coach. I asked her to check, and she checked her list
then said I was good. I resumed passing out.

A small child's screeching woke me up as the other people
were boarding. "Mommy mommy he's in my seat!", "Yes,
dear, there's a man in our seat, but mommy will get him out
of there"...a wispered conversation behind my back with
a flight attendant... which was quickly followed by the flight
attendant telling me I needed to carry my ass back to coach.
I asked her to check, because the other lady had checked and
said I was muffled radio conversation later and I
had to grab my shit and drag my half asleep ass back to coach.

I found my original seat and plopped into it and almost
immediately was told that I was in someone's seat. A waifish
girl with shoved a boarding pass in my face and repeated "you're
in my seat". I whipped out my original pass and said "no I'm
not". Now that I was fully awake...I was starting to feel
more than a little pissed. A stewerdess appeared like a demon
in a puff of smoke and said "sir come with me, this is their seat".

A flash of clarity let me see what might be happening; when it
sounds like a nut is pulled off of an airliner and is rude to
stewardess' they might be drowsy, half drunk and moved
several times in one flight. I meekly said "whatever" and
was led to the stinky row next to the bathrooms. I was
in the middle row between two guys fatter than me, but fuck
it, I was going home.

(go southwest airlines stock go)

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The Dead Pool

Lawrence Simon is running a dead pool again this year and
I thought it might be a good idea to sign up and join something
instead of just lurking.

Here is a list of the prospective entrants. No hard feelings,
(except for the couple that I'm rooting for to win)
for any of the entrants, it's a trip we all take, but if you can win
me a $10 dominos card while your at it then great.

here's my list:

Name - Famous for what? - DOB

Dick Van Dyke -Actor 12/13/1925
Saddam Hussein - Bad Actor 4/28/1937
Mohammed Ali - Fighter 1/17/1942
Jimmy Carter - Wimp 10/1/1924
Margeret Thatcher - Tough girl 10/13/1925
Earl Cambell - Tough Guy, tailed off with the saints 3/29/1955
Nancy Reagan - ex actress, ex first lady 7/6/1921
David Duke - ex clansman, ex politician, ex human 7/1/1950
Gerald Ford - clumsy guy, lost footing and vietnam 7/14/1913
Keith Richards - famous clean blood recipient 12/18/1943
Nancy Pelosi - representative, bloodless c--t 3/26/1940
Billy Jean King - likes the previous 11/22/1943
50 Cent - likes the previous more than Billy Jean 7/6/1975
Bill Clinton - likes it even more 8/19/1946
Ted Kennedy, likes it less, leaves it swimming 2/22/1932

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Too tired to sleep

I'm back up here in alaska again, and if I thought it was
dark last month, wow, now it's uber-dark. Really dark
until about 9, then dusky light until 4 pm, then dark.
I'm not sure if I'll be here for the Solistice next week, I'm
supposed to be in New Olreans next tuesday or so, if I
don't leave here by Sunday I'll miss the traditional furlough
or conjugal visit that most prisoners get.

[one of my favorite movie scenes is the one in Face-Off,
where travolta is trudging in circles wearing magnetic
boots as exercise, and he turns out to be on an offshore oil
platform converted into a prison. I saw the movie offshore,
where my main exercise was walking in a circle on the
heliport. All I was missing was some magnetic boots.]

I just popped awake an hour ago as my alarm clock in Houston
went off. It's now 3:30 am, and I'm waiting for a phone call so I
can trudge through the snow over to the client's office and start
work when the rig up there on the slope starts drilling.

Trudging is walking slightly slower than an amble, with slightly
hunched shoulders, but faster than a sphincter clenched
this guy used. I can imagine his problem clearly, because
I almost slip and fall every time I cross an ice encrusted street here.
Maybe I should slow my trudge to a shuffle? A shudge? A truffle?

Who knows. I could go work out in the hotel gym, but I'll fight off
that urge by surfing the blogosphere instead. Steve over at hog on
has an entry worth a chortle.

I got out of the shower just now, still feeling the effects of my workout, and I looked in the mirror and realized I now have pecs just like Arnold Schwarzenegger's. However, if you've seen him in a bathing suit lately, you know that isn't much of a boast. In fact, I'm pretty sure Madelyn Albright can say the same thing.

I'd laugh, but I fear I'm closer to Madelyn than Mr Universe. Pot
meet Kettle. Oh well. Insomnia is much worse when it's 4 am and
dawn is still 5 hours away. If I ever live here I'll have to buy a spare
fridge that I can fill with bullet holes every January.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The year that was...

James Lileks has a column summarizing 2005. My favorite is
his entry on Katrina:

Hurricane Katrina strikes precisely at the moment when the dynamite charges, personally installed by Karl Rove, blow up New Orleans’s levees. Teams of the same ninjas the Bushies used to rig the Diebold voting machines have already disabled the buses that could be used in evacuation. Initial media reports indicate that refugees in the Superdome have resorted to murder, cannibalism, voodoo, keno, and possibly jai alai. FOX anchor Shep Smith is consumed on camera by zombies. His last words indicate that he shares their outrage, if not their desire for sweet, sweet brains...

Why I'm blogging

In the comments, CajunRenard says:
"I know, I know. You're a Bush fan. Gotta admire your loyalty. However, are you feeling safe now that all the WMDs are wrested away from Saddam? Are you ready to admit that we went to war with fabricated evidence?"

To which I replied:
"If you look at the post below
"I too prefer my ammo dumps insect free" you'll see what I think.

If the iraqis had hollow bombs ready
to fill poison gas, and hidden bunkers filled with "pesticide"
that affected exposed people like nerve agent, then they had wmd.

the reason no wmd's were found was the searchers had a political
motivation not to find them.
Anyway, saddam was the wmd. Once the sanctions had ended he
would have done what he wanted to do."
One of the main reasons blogging does kind of work for me is I
can say refer to my blog for what I think. I don't necessarily
have to rehash arguments via email or phone or at parties.
I used to enjoy political arguments when it was just clinton and
a blowjob. Now the stakes are too high for rhetoric. If it comes
down to probush or antibush I have to be probush until someone
on the other side is serious that we are in a war. Personally, Bush
is just the kind of person I've disliked since LSU. Everything he has
is due to his family's money and connections, when my family has
never had money or connections.

Now I don't like him, but the other side are nuts and willing to lose
a war to score points. Bush was elected and as commander in chief
decided to go to war. Congress supported him and continues to approve
funds. That's the way the system has worked since 13th century
england. Agree or disagree we are there.

Stop quibling over the whys, every quibble gives the enemy heart.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Throw the bums out

I'd like to post more to this blog, sometimes I think I have a lot to
say about politics, work, life, etc, but when it comes right down
to it, I'm probably too angry about politics to say anything coherent.
It's obvious to me that I'm suffering from Bush Derangement,
Derangement syndrom. I get so angry watching the slanted news,
listening to NPR attack the president, reading what our idiot
congressmen are saying that I can only spit.

I really don't have any solution except to start carrying cd's in
the car again. Listening to the Foo Fighters cd instead of NPR
left me much more relaxed on Friday. Weather Channel instead
of CNN. The dilbert blog instead of Slate.

Oh yea, and I'm going to vote against all the incumbent Senators
and representatives. It's 1992 all over again. Democrats scoring
political points instead of demanding victory....out. Republicans
saying they are working with the democrats, or demanding reports
from the president...out too.

Throw the bums out. Now to figure out which district I'm in and
who I can throw out.