Friday, December 23, 2005

I don't LUV continental

I flew back home from alaska tuesday on one of the
suckiest flights where I got upgraded to first class for
one leg. I got pulled from a middle seat in a packed
coach section where I was speaking with a nice old lady,
brought up to first class for what I thought was the
whole flight. Drank my 3 bloody mary's (they're free,
you gotta drink 'em) and passed out asleep.

I got woken up in seatle by someone checking my ticket,
she tried to throw me out of 1st because my ticket had
my old seat # written on it that they had used to find me
in coach. I asked her to check, and she checked her list
then said I was good. I resumed passing out.

A small child's screeching woke me up as the other people
were boarding. "Mommy mommy he's in my seat!", "Yes,
dear, there's a man in our seat, but mommy will get him out
of there"...a wispered conversation behind my back with
a flight attendant... which was quickly followed by the flight
attendant telling me I needed to carry my ass back to coach.
I asked her to check, because the other lady had checked and
said I was muffled radio conversation later and I
had to grab my shit and drag my half asleep ass back to coach.

I found my original seat and plopped into it and almost
immediately was told that I was in someone's seat. A waifish
girl with shoved a boarding pass in my face and repeated "you're
in my seat". I whipped out my original pass and said "no I'm
not". Now that I was fully awake...I was starting to feel
more than a little pissed. A stewerdess appeared like a demon
in a puff of smoke and said "sir come with me, this is their seat".

A flash of clarity let me see what might be happening; when it
sounds like a nut is pulled off of an airliner and is rude to
stewardess' they might be drowsy, half drunk and moved
several times in one flight. I meekly said "whatever" and
was led to the stinky row next to the bathrooms. I was
in the middle row between two guys fatter than me, but fuck
it, I was going home.

(go southwest airlines stock go)


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