I don't LUV continental

I flew back home from alaska tuesday on one of the
suckiest flights where I got upgraded to first class for
one leg. I got pulled from a middle seat in a packed
coach section where I was speaking with a nice old lady,
brought up to first class for what I thought was the
whole flight. Drank my 3 bloody mary's (they're free,
you gotta drink 'em) and passed out asleep.

I got woken up in seatle by someone checking my ticket,
she tried to throw me out of 1st because my ticket had
my old seat # written on it that they had used to find me
in coach. I asked her to check, and she checked her list
then said I was good. I resumed passing out.

A small child's screeching woke me up as the other people
were boarding. "Mommy mommy he's in my seat!", "Yes,
dear, there's a man in our seat, but mommy will get him out
of there"...a wispered conversation behind my back with
a flight attendant... which was quickly followed by the flight
attendant telling me I needed to carry my ass back to coach.
I asked her to check, because the other lady had checked and
said I was OK....one muffled radio conversation later and I
had to grab my shit and drag my half asleep ass back to coach.

I found my original seat and plopped into it and almost
immediately was told that I was in someone's seat. A waifish
girl with shoved a boarding pass in my face and repeated "you're
in my seat". I whipped out my original pass and said "no I'm
not". Now that I was fully awake...I was starting to feel
more than a little pissed. A stewerdess appeared like a demon
in a puff of smoke and said "sir come with me, this is their seat".

A flash of clarity let me see what might be happening; when it
sounds like a nut is pulled off of an airliner and is rude to
stewardess' they might be drowsy, half drunk and moved
several times in one flight. I meekly said "whatever" and
was led to the stinky row next to the bathrooms. I was
in the middle row between two guys fatter than me, but fuck
it, I was going home.

(go southwest airlines stock go)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The other side of Porkbusters, the people who need pork

Haditha slant in the press

Moving on up